本文為翻譯文章，文件段落格式依原始文章編排，中文放在原文段落之上方便大家對照。因為我的英文很破，中文的文筆又不好，所以如果有翻得不通順或翻錯的地方，就再麻煩各位多多指教，直接留言或私訊都可以，請不必客氣。
為何 Alex Honnold 無繩獨攀酋長岩 讓我如此害怕
Why Alex Honnold’s Free Solo of El Cap Scared Me
我們都知道 Alex 是我們這一代最頂尖的攀岩者，我對他的信任，讓我願意把生命交付在他手上，我甚至比他自己還要更相信他。 We all know Alex is the greatest climber of our generation. I trust him with my life. I trust him a little less with his own.
作者：Tommy Caldwell | PUBLISHED JUNE 5, 2017
翻譯：陳震宇 (若有任何問題請來信：maurice.chen67@gmail.com)
Alex Honnold 曾對我說過，在他廂型車的某個角落，藏著上百頁的訓練記錄和攀登日誌，還有一份他的人生目標清單，清單的最上面寫著兩個字母，FR – Freerider 路線的縮寫，這條路線，就在一座高達 914 公尺的獨立花崗岩岩體 – 酋長岩 – 的岩壁上。它的難度遠低於 Alex 的極限，但他的目標是以前所未見的方式 – 無繩獨攀 (free–solo) – 來完攀這條路線。
我知道 Alex 總有一天會做這件事，但我不知道我該鼓勵他，讓他照著自己的計劃前進；或是該勸退他，不要冒這個風險。我會看見我的摯友在岩壁上展現一場足以代表我們這個世代的完美演出嗎？或者，我會看見他在一場殘酷的俄羅斯輪盤裡輸掉他的賭注？在我們這個圈子裡，只要一談到 Alex，腦海中第一個冒出來的話題，就是關於風險。身為他的摯友之一，同時也深深為酋長岩癡迷的我，你們大概會以為我應該了解無繩獨攀 Freerider 這件事所代表的意義，但其實我不了解，而且也沒有人會了解，除了 Alex 之外。
6 月 3 日，週六清晨，當第一道曙光落下時，Alex 在他的廂型車中醒來。他將車緩緩開入優勝美地山谷，只帶了一雙岩鞋和一個粉袋，便開始攀登酋長岩。那天的天空晴朗而蔚藍，微風靜靜地吹拂。雖然上個禮拜我還在優勝美地，花了幾天和 Alex 一起在這條路線上，陪著他一起做最後的準備。而現在我已經回到科羅拉多的家中，陪著我的小孩玩耍，試著不要太擔心 Alex 正在進行的計畫，因為想得愈深入，我就愈害怕。
Alex Honnold once told me that somewhere in his van, hidden amongst the hundreds of pages of training logs and route journals, he has a list of life goals. On top of that list there are two letters, “FR,” meaning the Freerider, the most popular route up the 3,000-foot granite monolith of El Capitan. The route is far below Alex’s limit, but his goal was to free solo it—to climb it without ropes—which no one had ever done.
I figured that Alex would one day do it, but didn’t know whether I should encourage him to follow through on his plan, or discourage him from taking the risk. Would I be watching my friend perform an act of generation defining mastery or a round of Russian roulette? More than anyone in our climbing community, Alex has brought the conversation of risk into the front of our minds. As one of his closest friends and an El Capitan addict myself, you would think I would have a handle on what it would mean to free solo the Freerider. But I don’t. No one does. Except Alex.
On Saturday, June 3, Alex woke in his van at first light. He calmly drove into Yosemite Valley, and with nothing more than sticky rubber shoes and a chalk bag began ascending El Cap. Skies were blue; wind calm. Although I had spent part of the previous week in Yosemite helping Alex with his final preparations for the climb, I was back home in Colorado, playing with my kids, and trying not to think too deeply about what Alex was planning on doing, because it’s terrifying to contemplate.
ALEX 是為了活著而爬，不是為了向死神挑戰
ALEX CLIMBS TO LIVE, NOT TO CHEAT DEATH
外界對攀岩的描述，經常都很容易就偏向對於攀岩者的刻板印象 - 他們魯莽愚勇、追求刺激的快感、對腎上腺素成癮等等。但對大部分的攀岩者而言，這些都只是令人反胃的陳腔濫調。攀岩，是我們和這世界上最美的岩壁之間培養出來的親密關係，而不是讓我們用來吹噓自己如何對抗岩壁的工具。我沒辦法說我了解 Alex 的內心世界，但我很確定一件事：Alex 是為了活著而爬，不是為了向死神挑戰。
我很確定，Alex 爬過的困難路線比歷史上的任何人都還要多。他至少爬過十多次 Freerider，在那些最困難的區段上，他也反覆練習直到即使矇著眼都能爬完的程度。但比起身體的能力，無繩獨攀更需要強大的心智。撇開那些令人暈眩的潛在因子，例如高度的暴露感和那些突如其來的心理壓力 (擔心崩落的石頭，或從裂隙裡竄出的飛鳥)，攀登困難的花崗岩壁需要高度的精準，以及完全清醒的心智。
Alex 曾對我說過，他從來沒有在完全無預警 – 連一點徵兆都沒有 – 的狀況下墜落過。當我跟他說我曾經在毫無預警的狀況下墜落至少十次以上時，他滿臉困惑，看起來就像當機一樣。接著他問我為什麼不試試看無繩獨攀：「你爬起來一定超輕鬆的 – 你根本不會在 5.12 的路線上墜落啊」他說。我們偶而會聊到 Freerider；我們都知道那是他的終極目標，但每次聊到這件事時，他的樣子看起來都很猶豫。這條路線有幾個地方讓人太沒有安全感了，而且也太多人在期待 Alex 去爬這條路線了。他只想為他自己而爬，並不想為了其他人的期望而爬。
It’s all too easy for headlines about climbing to lean on clichés about the climbers themselves—that these people are daredevils, thrill seekers, adrenaline junkies. But to most climbers, nothing is quicker to trigger the gag reflex. Climbing is an intimate relationship with our world’s most dramatic landscapes, not a self-boasting fight against them. I don’t claim to understand the inner workings of Alex’s mind, but I know one thing for certain: Alex climbs to live, not to cheat death.
I am sure that Alex has climbed, foot by foot, more technical rock than anyone in history. He’s climbed the Freerider at least a dozen times and practiced the most difficult sections to the point where he likely would have been able to do them blindfolded. But free soloing is a feat less physical than mental. Beyond the obvious factors of vertigo inducing exposure and unexpected obstacles (think breaking rock and birds flying out of cracks), hard granite climbing requires such precision that one must be completely lucid.
Alex once told me that he had never fallen completely unexpectedly—meaning without at least some prior inclination that it could happen. When I told him that I had unexpectedly fallen at least ten times, he looked confused, like somehow that didn’t compute. Then he would ask why I didn’t free solo: “It would be so easy for you—you know you wont fall on 5.12,” he said. We occasionally talked about the Freerider; we knew it would be the ultimate goal for him. But he always expressed hesitation about it. The route was a bit too insecure in a few spots, and too many people were expecting Alex to do it. He wanted to do it for himself, not the expectations of others.
這個話題就這樣拖了幾年。然後，在去年夏天一趟摩洛哥的旅行中，Alex 告訴我他準備要試試看了。聽他這麼一說，我閉上我的雙眼，深深地吸了一口氣，便問他我能幫他做些什麼。Alex 一如往常，滿不在乎地說：「反正我也只想試試看，真的弄到我覺得很穩的時候再說吧」。那一趟的旅行，他表現出前所未見的旺盛精力，彷彿被他心底最深層的渴望驅動著，我們爬了一大堆路線，爬到我的腳趾有整整一個月都是痠痛的。
摩洛哥之旅結束後，我回到科羅拉多的家，而 Alex 則回到優勝美地繼續他的準備工作。我對這整件事的感覺很平靜，直到去年十月的一個夜裡，我做了個可怕的噩夢；Alex 突然出現在我家門口，手臂和雙腿都斷了，鮮血還不斷流到地板上。他對著我說他摔下來了，但因為實在太糗，所以不敢去醫院，接著我便氣喘吁吁地醒了過來。隔天，我的電話響了，是 Alex 打來的，他告訴我他在練 Freerider 的時候墜落，扭傷了腳踝，而且扭得蠻慘的。從那一刻開始，我才意識到它真的發生了。
The topic lingered for years. Then last summer, on a trip to Morocco, Alex told me he was getting ready to give it a go. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and asked him what I could do to help. Alex, as always, was nonchalant. “I'll just see if I can work it down to the point where it feels solid,” he said. On that trip, he seemed to be fueled by a deeper desire than I had seen in him before. We climbed so much that my toes were numb for a month.
After Morocco I went home to Colorado, and Alex returned to Yosemite to continue his preparations. I felt at peace about the whole thing. Then one night last October I had a horrible nightmare. Alex showed up at the door of my house with shattered arms and legs. He was bleeding out on my floor telling me he had fallen and was too embarrassed to go to the hospital. I woke up panting. That next day my phone rang. It was Alex calling to tell me me that he had taken a fall on a practice lap of the Freerider and badly sprained his ankle. That’s when it all became real.
我做了個可怕的噩夢；Alex 突然出現在我家門口，手臂和雙腿都斷了
I HAD A HORRIBLE NIGHTMARE. ALEX SHOWED UP AT THE DOOR OF MY HOUSE WITH SHATTERED ARMS AND LEGS
我老婆和我迅速地把小孩抱進車裡，然後開了 20 個小時的車到優勝美地。Alex 的腳踝傷得不輕，在他鞋子的上緣形成了一大塊腫塊；他連走路都很勉強，但他還是不放棄 Freerider。「在腳傷痊癒之前我可以繼續拉指力板，然後爬一些簡單的路線就好，這樣說不定這一季還有機會」他說道。當時我反對他繼續這項計畫，因為所有事情感覺都不太對勁。
一個月後，11 月中旬，他還是跑去試了。我在那次嘗試之前就已經先離開了優勝美地，因為我知道那不是我想看到的狀況。當我得知他只爬了不到 200 公尺，就因為感覺不對而放棄時 (當時他利用一連串的定置繩垂降)，我真的鬆了一口氣。
七個月後，Alex 開始計畫他的第二次嘗試。於是我在陣亡將士紀念日的前一週去了一趟優勝美地，和他一起用繩索練習 Freerider。在高聳的岩壁上，我汗流浹背、氣喘吁吁，當我的腳踩在那些看起來十分易碎的小岩片上時，它們還不斷發出清脆的喀喀聲響。我試圖揣想 Alex 的心境，如果這一刻我的身上沒有主繩的話，會是怎樣的感受？坦白說，我很清楚 Alex 幾乎已經快完成這項無繩獨攀史上最偉大的創舉，因此我根本無法揣摩他的感受。
My wife and I loaded our two small children into our van and drove 20 hours to Yosemite. Alex’s ankle was so swollen it bulged over the top of his shoe. He could barely walk, but still wanted to give the Freerider a go. “I’ll just keep fingerboard training and climbing easy stuff until it heals. Maybe I can still do it this season,” he said. By that point, I didn’t want him to do it. It all seemed too heavy.
A month later, in mid-November, he tried anyway. I left Yosemite before the attempt, knowing that it was not something I wanted to watch. I was relieved to hear that he only made it a few hundred feet up before bailing because it didn’t feel right. (He descended a series of fixed ropes to the ground.)
Seven months later, Alex was making plans to go for it again. I went to Yosemite last week over the Memorial Day holiday and we did a practice lap on the Freerider with a rope. High on the wall, panting and sweating, feet smearing on crispy flakes that made crunching noises as I stepped on them, I looked down 3,000 feet to the ground and tried to mentally transport myself into the mind of Alex, what it would be like to not be attached to a rope? Honestly, knowing that Alex would likely soon pull off the biggest moment in free solo history, I could not fathom it.
幾天之後，也就是上週六，Alex 只花了 3 小時 56 分就成功完攀了這條路線。當時只有幾個人知道這件事，而他們也清楚 Alex 不喜歡敲鑼打鼓的大場面，因此並沒有張揚。登頂之後，他開心地迎向在岩壁頂端久候多時的幾位好友，然後在徒步下撤的路上打了通電話給我。當時的我在科羅拉多，正陪著家人在公園的遊樂場玩耍。在電話中他說，現在的他正陶醉在前所未有的滿足感中，而且也很感激所有幫忙的朋友。「你的幫忙正是時候，當時的我就是需要那些協助。」他說道。「幫我跟你老婆說，真的很感謝她在過去那些日子裡願意把你借給我。」
在我們這個世代，無繩獨攀酋長岩一直都是大家預期並盼望已久的成就，因為我們有 Alex。世界上只有極少數人有能力可以完成這件事，但很遺憾地，他們之中有許多人都已經永遠離開我們了。過去我總是將無繩獨攀酋長岩拿來和登陸月球相提並論，如今它被完成了，就其象徵意義而言，我認為這樣的比喻還算恰當，因為它確實是一項代表我們這個世代的攀登成就。
就心理強度而言，我相信這是運動史上最顛峰的成就之一。看著 Alex 如此全心投入，並且無懼地活著，我希望其他人都能受到他的啟發，為了自己的目標勇敢承擔風險，因為我們在現實生活中已經失去太多了。就能力方面而言，萬全的準備工作和冷靜的執行力，Alex 無疑是個超乎常人的異類，他將過人的理智運用在這次的無繩獨攀上，這樣的能力前無古人，而且很可能也將後無來者。
A few days later, this past Saturday, Alex freed the route in three hours and 56 minutes. The few people that knew about it had kept it quiet, knowing that Alex did not want it to be a spectacle. He topped out to a few friends, then called me while hiking down. I was at a playground with my family back in Colorado. He told me that he was feeling as content as he had ever been, and was grateful to everyone. “You came in and helped me at just the right moment. It was just what I needed,” he said. “Tell your wife thanks for loaning you out for a few days.”
Free soloing El Cap has been the most anticipated climbing feat of our generation, but only because of Alex. There have been very few people potentially capable of accomplishing this, and sadly most of these individuals are no longer with us. In the past I’ve equated the possibility of this climb to the moon landing of free soloing. Today, knowing that it has been done, I think that is a fair assessment of the significance. It’s a generation-defining climb.
In terms of mental mastery, I am convinced that it is one of the pinnacle sporting moments of all time. I hope others are inspired by Alex’s dedication to excellence and ability to live without fear, and less by his willingness to accept risk. We have lost far too many in our world already. In terms of talent, preparedness, and climbing composure, Alex is a true outlier. He brought an element of sanity to this climb that no one else could, or probably ever will again.
Tommy Caldwell 是擅長攀登優勝美地大岩壁的資深攀岩者，並於 2017 年出版他的新書：The Push: A Climber's Journey of Endurance, Risk, and Going Beyond Limits.
Tommy Caldwell is a longtime Yosemite big-wall climber and author of the 2017 book The Push: A Climber's Journey of Endurance, Risk, and Going Beyond Limits.